Sunday, April 14, 2013

5 Things To Do Outside In The Sun*

I know it wasn't anything I said in my last post. Who am I to threaten Mother Nature? I'm just a lowly individual striving to maintain a sense of sanity just slightly above the current water level in my yard.

But I do feel rather empowered today. Could it have anything to do with the massive amounts of sunshine I woke up to at 8am this morning? Well, if so, take that Mother Nature! I will NOT LINGER inside anymore than I have to today, I will FLOURISH in the light reigning on my world and I will RELISH THE SPLENDOR of mud ON MY BOOTS!

There. I feel so much better.

Five things you can do outside in the sun:
1. Go outside
2. Roll around on the ground like there's no tomorrow
3. Pee on what's left of the snow and ice
4. Drape yourself over any inanimate object like a sick, drunken sailor
5. Stand on the highest point on your property with your arms raised high holding a shovel and a rake

* Disclaimer: do not attempt if you are at any acceptable level of sanity. Check with local authorities for any required permits.